Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize