I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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