i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
