There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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