Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
