Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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