Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Randomize
