my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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