he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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