im about as happy as oj after his trial
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
