I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
