I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
