just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
