So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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