why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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