True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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