did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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