Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
