Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's official drugs can't kill me
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
