I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize