I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
