tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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