3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
