God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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