dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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