i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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