No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
