She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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