i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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