they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
