I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
