They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize