Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i think my cat just said my name.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize