I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
