there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
