how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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