Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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