tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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