He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
