And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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