Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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