This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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