i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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