im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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