Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
