Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
