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i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
