why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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