Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You left your underwear on the fireplace
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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