Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
