your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
