and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
