Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
