took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
this hospital has no fireball
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
