Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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