so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
