It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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