You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
