Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
