So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
