can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's never too late to be topless.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
