If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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