I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
