hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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