Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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